Its the holidays!

 

After many weeks of never ending work, I’m finally finished for the year. I’m kind of happy but also sad (hear me out before you think I’m crazy) I’m happy because I’m not stressed out and because I don’t have important deadlines to meet. However I quite enjoyed lectures even though I fell asleep in them more times than I can remember. Looking back at the year, I’ve never fallen asleep in a human structure and function lecture, this was due to very vague lecture notes. The lecturer was also lively, so any future students at my uni doing bioscience, if you have Dr G you’re in for a treat.

Now to why I’m sad part. I have nothing to do, nothing to get out of bed for. I’ve been writing some more poetry but there’s only so much one can write. Before anyone thinks “why doesn’t she just get a job” I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just unlucky when it comes to that, been applying for jobs as they come on the market but no one gets back to me. Someone should tell them what they’re missing out on lol. I tried to do some spring cleaning, which was hopeless. As soon as you go to the 2^nd room the first one gets messed up.

I’ve made up a sort of bucket list for the things I want to do this summer these are:

·         Learn how to code

·         Loads of reading and writing

·         Paint my room

·         Get a 6 pack (Abs)

·         Raise money for charity

After watching the social network and a documentary about entrepreneurs I realised they all had one thing in common, computers, they all did coding in one form or another. Many of them becoming millionaires, just recently the ‘flappy bird’ craze made the owner super rich in just a couple of weeks. It’s the one area I think that rewards creativity and lots of work quickly. I’m not planning on becoming the next Mark Zuckerberg, to me, it’s just a skill that I want to have.

I think if I didn’t take a science route I would’ve done creative writing of some sort. And reading, books are so encapsulating. They take you to a whole other world that you wouldn’t normally see, and teach you things about the world which you didn’t know. 2 books I read recently are ‘your genes unzipped’ that had a lot of interesting things in there. One that fascinated me was; there was a little boy who was just a few months old having a circumcision when something went wrong. The doctor then told the parents it would be easier for the boy to be ‘made’ female genitalia rather than to try fix the problem. The little boy was treated like a girl since, named a female name etc. etc. But the child never felt like a girl and had a hard time. When ‘she’ was told the truth ‘she’ had surgery to correct things and he lived happily ever after. Which makes me question, what is gender really, is it  a state of mind rather than the genitalia? Do chromosomes on the X and Y determine our psychological state of which we feel like? I don’t see how this question can be answered. My point is, read, there is a whole world of fascination and crazy stuff out there that you might miss out on if you don’t read about them.

2^nd book was keeping hope alive by Dr Hawa Abdi, I don’t think this woman gets enough publicity, her story is truly inspirational. She also taught me a lot about the Somali civil war which I didn’t know much of.

6 packs, I’ve always wanted to get them. Besides I need to lose all that weight I gained during exams. I actually went to the gym today, for the first time in a very long time. But whatever I was trying to achieve was nullified when I went to heavenly deserts, and let me tell you, they are indeed heavenly. But as of tomorrow, I shall control my sugar levels (Insha’Allah) type 2 diabetes is no joke.

peace out!  

 

Poem #3 To all the women around the world

To all my women around the world

You are strong and you are beautiful

We are the backbone of society

Raising boys to become men

And little girls to be independent ladies

We are not helpless princesses in need of saving

As Disney will have you believe

We’re not just here to look pretty and act dumb

Our wombs are not a factory

Where our efficiency is measured by how many children we have

For far too long men have messed things up

And have left women to pick up the pieces

This is to my single mothers whose exes are worth less than faeces

Because they gave birth to a fatherless child

Whilst that father was alive

This is to my ladies that are managers and CEO’s

That work really hard but still get paid less dough

And the government dares to pretend there’s equality

To me, it looks like men degrade women in order to gain superiority

I’m writing this so that this poem can go down in history

So that future generations can one day say

That is how it used to be.

 

 

 

 

Just because i wear a hijab

I really just have to get this off my chest.

Just because I wear a hijab doesn't make me less of a human than you. just because I wear hijab I shouldn't get dirty looks and stares. This is more so in old ladies. I find it so frustrating when you get on a bus and an old woman clutches her bag? like what the hell?
The amount of rudeness that's been thrown my way over the last couple of years is just disgusting. I've realised more hostility now that I go to uni than when in college. But when I do think back at it, my college was full of ethnic minorities and there were a lot of muslim students and teachers. so I didn't really stand out. But now that I have to go to the train station regularly, I cant remember a day when someone didn't stare at me, you know the look I mean. once the train was packed, so I had to sit next to two ladies, one I assumed to be the mother and the other her daughter. these women were 35+  before I sat down they were having a chat and smiling etc. when I sat next to them their expression was one of horror, and they were just watching me throughout the whole train journey. looking at my phone as I was texting. Normally you'd expect someone to look away when you've caught them staring at you, but that certainly wasn't the case there.

Another time I went to a science fair ( yes I went to a science fair) and I got stopped and searched. I was there ( the fair) for a good 5 hours and in those 5 hours I haven't seen anyone else getting searched. I felt- I don't even know how to describe how I felt. all I wanted to do was to take my sister to a science fair and see cool  inventions and experiments. I felt like I was being treated like a criminal. For a crime that I didn't commit.

Even in uni, coming out of lecture I was walking with a friend who also wears a scarf and this remark was made by this guy- words that I don't even want to repeat.

It's not like we ask for preferential treatment, i'm not even speaking from an Islamic perspective. I'm speaking from a human perspective, just because we dress in a certain way doesn't mean that we should be made to feel inferior. I feel like we shouldn't have to constantly be like *hey look at us, we're normal, we're like you* Old ladies, I understand that you didn't exactly grow up with many muslims around. but that doesn't mean that you should give me a dirty look, turn around and stare at me when I sit next to you. This woman once even had the cheek to make a eurgh sound at me whilst I opened the door for her. I believe i'm a good person and I don't deserve the treatment I get. I don't judge a Labrador based on what a Rottweiler does. 

I guess i'm saying that; we have feelings too, I cant even begin to tell you how much it ruins my mood. It's not fair. I know some of the accounts I made above are nothing compared to how others get treated, however that doesn't make it any more acceptable.

We're all one race. The human race. Religion shouldn't really matter, I'm not being naïve. I've met some really lovely non muslim people who im friends with. However I've also met some hostile muslim people. I judge a person based on how they treat me and others, if more people did that being gay/straight/black/white/muslim/non muslim none of that would matter.

You may or may not agree with me with many points. To be honest I don't care.  When I blog, I blog as Confused Biochemist, that's how I choose to define myself. Not by my country, my gender, race or religion. Being a Muslim shouldn't affect/change anything or anyone but me.

That's all I wanted to rant about today.
Peace out.