Second year concluded.

Hey,

So I'm still alive, second year got quite hectic towards to the end, but the final exam results paid of (for the most part) I don't think I've worked that hard in a very long time. My results were quite varied as usual but what's different this year is my higher marks came from my coursework, which is quite shocking it's always the other way around with me.

I found second year extremely challenging and rewarding, I got out what I put in for the most part. I keep saying for the most part because my last two exams were wow, I messed up but Alhamdulilah my other results pulled me up. I guess second year is where I could say I developed more as a person. I found out what I am capable of if I put the work in.

This year was special to me because I went to Somalia for the first time in my life. I always used to hear stories about Afgooye and what life was like but experiencing it was a whole other thing. I've met aunties, uncles and grandparents. It was special. Afgooye is beautiful, that's where the fields are in Somalia, and as far as your eyes could see there was fruit growing. I learned to drive there too (and also got into a minor car crash- yes, I was driving). Seeing where I come from has changed me, the people there are extremely motivated and hard working, making me look lazy in comparison. Everyone is up at the crack of dawn (Around 5 am) to go about their business. Some universities even start their lessons at 6am! And I thought 9am lectures were bad.

Not long ago I read a book called "Keeping hope alive" which is a biography of Dr Hawa Abdi, someone whose story I find very inspirational and I got to see her clinic and the community she opened. I also got to see the National Theatre, which is a huge landmark in Mogadishu. Since returning from Mogadishu I've become more business minded and appreciate my opportunities more.

Third year of University is starting in less than a month and right now my attitude is 'come at me bro' I achieved the result I wanted in second year Alhamdulilah and with hard work and the help of Allah I'll do it again inshaAllah. I like challenges, this year I'm the head sister of the Islamic society and the president of the biological society, it's the last time that I'm an undergraduate so I'm going to immerse my self in opportunities.

Till next time inshaAllah, hopefully I'll stick to at least one post per month.

First week of semester 2! and a poem ;)

Hello readers,

Hope you are all doing well. I am, I am feeling great. Exams are over! A lot is weighing on these results for me and to be fair they weren't my best set of exams. In fact, in my molecular bioscience exam I gave up and decided to become creative in my answers, making things up which in that time made sense in my head. I left a hydrogen bonding question half done in my proteins exam, those marks were pretty much a given but I told my self i'd come back for it and ended up running out of time. But enough of that. I have a couple weeks of no exams which feels great.

I've started new modules, one of which is biomedical science module. Which is quite strange after doing molecular biology and proteins for a while. My first tutorial is a case of a child that has Von Willebrand disease, its different to what I'm used to but its interesting.

I've been doing quite a lot of thinking about character. With the world being so messed up and seems to be only getting worse, a friend and I wrote a poem

               What's your worth

Sometimes its your words and not your actions that determine what you are
And at other times it's your actions and not your words that you're measured by
Even the smallest creatures have the hearts of giants
While some giants have the hearts the size of mice
But the worth of the giant isn't measured by his greatness
Nor is the size of the mouse why it's inferior

But it's the way that we carry ourselves around in this world that give us our worth.
A position
And a size

We think of getting ahead in life, yet we cannot see the destruction we leave behind
Every step we take has consequences
We fear the future
But what we should fear more is our mistakes that create
A clump
An obstacle
That block our paths

Success is not only in the destination
But also in the pursuit
Is it really success when we lose more than we gain?
When we compromise friendships
And sever the ties that form kinship
To become the king of the mountain
Tell me one thing, how is the view?

When you become frail, as all humans do
And long for a loved one to take care of you and talk to
Nobody will be there for you,
Selfishness is a poisonous trait
It causes love to perish
So tell me, how do you feel?
When all you have is money

Let me make something clear
There's nothing wrong with success
As long as you pursue it in ethical ways

The worth of man isn't measure by how many digits there are in his bank account
But rather how he treats the people that can do nothing for him.

The end.

I think that as young people we get ahead of ourselves thinking we're invincible, we're young, energetic and don't have too much commitment and responsibility. That we sometimes forget how we got here, thinking we outgrew our parents/carers. Thinking we outgrew friends that we were once really close to because we've moved on, made new friends. It's all hunky dory. But no, it isn't really though is it. Friends and family I believe are our home, our safe place, our nest if you will.

I've realised that the older we  get, the more trivial the reason why the friendship is over. I live by a simple principle, if people are important to you, you will make time for them. Regardless of how busy ones schedule is. I call BS on excuses like "I couldn't I was very busy" nobody really is too busy to send a text to say Hi. Nobody is too busy for a quick phone call to their parents/carers to let them know that they love them. To show that they care.

Because no matter how hotshot your career is, or how great of a placement you found, if you don't have anyone to share your joy with. Is it really worth it after all?

~Amina

Exams, Stress, 2nd year of university.

Guess who?

Hello hello hello readers I hope you're all very well. Life has been very stressful lately and I've kind of had a wake up call. Life isn't all peachy as I planned or wanted it to be. It's exam season and revision has taken over my life completely and right now I'm sick of it. I'm not going to set up potential student to shoot them in the foot, so my blogs wont be and have never been through rose tinted glasses.

This is second year, had I watched hunger games there probably would've been an appropriate reference right? But I digress. This is hard, it's so damn hard. It's hard to try and motivate when I'm so demotivated and exhausted. If I screw up now, my effort for my midterms would've been a waste. I want to, no I absolutely need to get a first. I've read the metro this week and most students are getting a 2:1. So if I want a job or a PhD after graduation I damn well better get a 1st. The second thing mentioned there was relevant work experience. According to my plans, I should've gotten into a hot shot pharmaceutical company by now. I've applied to 5 different GlaxoSmithKline industrial placements. Nestle required me to have a license- which I don't have. I phoned up Pfizer in August and the lady told me vacancies will be posted mid January. I took her word for it and mid January there were no applications open.

I've been stuck on this serine protease essay for far too long now, I just need to understand the concept of the proposed mechanism but I need someone to explain it to me, I'm an audio learner. Or so I think, if I hear something explained to me properly and it makes sense to me at that time, I will remember it for a very long time. But if I read a paragraph- especially to try and understand electron movement, it isn't happening.

I've successfully avoided learning about glycolysis and the citric acid cycle for a very long time, but now, I can't avoid it anymore. My molecular bioscience exam is all about bioenergetics, glycolysis, cancer biology, metabolism and topics relating to it. For this module there are 6 seen question, which to be fair is nice of them. However, they are not easy, not easy at all. Had these exact questions been unseen, there is no doubt I would fail.

It's not even about whether you're a hard worker, this stretches you to the next level. If you're not sleep deprived and exhausted, you're not doing 2nd year right. My exams are on the 27th and the 29th of January. So I have 8 days to finish proteins and God willing get a good 1st in it. With molecular bioscience, I'll be very happy with a good first but I absolutely need to get at least 65% in it.

It's weird to open up to strangers on the internet like this, however I want to stick to the principles that I had when I first started writing "This is my journey" and my journey consists of all of it. Everything, the tears, the hurt, the laughter and joy. The successes and failures, that make up my journey. All the things university students wont tell you when they're promoting their courses.

It's important to constantly remind yourself why you're doing this, you know why are you studying course X,Y or Z. Because that's what going to keep you going through times like this.

My name is Amina and this, is my journey!

Turning a new leaf.

This post is a week late

Turning a new leaf

I feel as though I'm being nostalgic lately, especially with my last post "My 2014 highlights  "
But it's time for me to turn a new leaf in my life. I'm turning 21 next week and I feel like I haven't done anything note worthy. I haven't learned how to drive, haven't secured a placement at GlaxoSmithKline and I'm still not as religious as I'd like to be. And as my mothers friends mention a lot, I'm not married. Though that doesn't bother me at the moment.

21, wow, I'm getting old. Before it was 16 is a milestone then it's 18 but now, the next milestone is 30. 30! I don't want to just live, get by and die. I want to leave an impact when its my time. Something note worthy, like finding a cheap cure for HIV or something. 

Ignore any typos please. This year I've become stress on legs honestly. Blogging  at 1 am when I have an early start. 

Exam season is when I turn into a hot mess, not even hot, just a mess. So I better get all my laundry done now. Before I drown in even more work. 

My 2014 highlights

Hello readers, it's officially 2015!

I've been requested to make a blog post about some of my highlights this year, so here goes. And they are in no particular order.

#1 I've taken my last ever pure chemistry exam and achieved a 2.1 which was a huge surprise and relief.

#2 I've visited and went sightseeing in Liverpool with a friend. I hardly ever go to a different city so this was a nice change. The city itself is breath taking.

#3My grandma and my aunt moved to Somalia permanently. This was very hard for me because I was very close to her my whole life, she used to live down the road from me so I used to go there, have a cup of tea and just chat almost every day. She would almost always tell me embarrassing stories about me whenever I would ask about my childhood. The same with my aunt, she made me an independent woman by giving me lots of responsibility from early on. My aunt used to be in the army, so she's an official bad ass you wouldn't want to mess with- so we didn't. But she's also the fairest and most loving person I've met too. In many ways my personality is like hers and in the ways it isn't, its like my mothers. So letting go of that was very hard. InshaAllah i'll see her this summer holiday. But it will never be the same.

#4 I am now the aunt of two beautiful boys (MashaAllah). My cousin gave birth a little while ago to the most adorable baby I've ever seen. The first time I visited him my cousin told me to change his clothes- which was so scary, it felt like he could break if I stretched his arm. But when I held him - ahhh- he was looking into my eyes and he grabbed my finger in his palm. I fell in love with him. In that moment we just- bonded. He held my heart in his tiny palms, and I knew then that I will never (inshaAllah) allow harm to come his way.


#5 Going back to my old secondary school to do work experience. My last experience at this school was a students one, but things were so different as "staff". I hung out in the "staff room" with some of my old teachers. Some students were calling me miss? I was given responsibility, to work all by my self in the technicians lab. This was all like woah! I got to design my own experiment, and the technicians gave me full credit, used my results and allowed me to explain to other members of staff. I remember calling the senior science technician 'Miss' and she said "you need to stop calling me miss, call me X"(where X would be her first name) and the same thing happened with my GCSE biology teacher, she told me her first name. But I've always felt too awkward to say it. It was the best experience that I have ever had and I wish I could go back and thank every member of staff I worked with. I liked working there so much I tried to apply there for my placement year, unfortunately I wasn't allowed because in order for me to get credits for the year it must be level 5 equivalent. Whatever that means.
From designing an experiment, explaining how practical's work, showing kids how to use microscopes properly, marking work and going to a self defence class. I have to say that going back to my old school was the best decision I could've made.
This is because the lovely staff there all knew that I didn't know what I wanted to do. And all of them gave me advise, especially the technicians I worked with and my GCSE biology teacher. Because of their guidance I know what options I have and which ones will hopefully suit me.


#6 in 2014 I got my grades sorted out, in the years before there was the odd hiccup but Alhamdulilah in 2014 I got the results that I needed. I'm my biggest critic, so I'll almost never say "I got the mark I wanted" But especially this academic year, so far, I haven't had any bad results.

#7 Performing spoken word poetry in front of an audience. The Aston University open mic was my biggest highlight. I used to be a very shy person in front of people I didn't know or wasn't close to. I remember once asking my English teacher to not pick me to answer because I didn't like talking in front of everyone. So for a while since then I've been working on my confidence. Now, there's always a part of me that wants to speak to audiences to motivate them. however, such a platform is hard to find so I thought i'd stick to what I know. Poetry. And that's exactly what I did. Once in a small open mic night in University during freshers week. Where the outcome wasn't huge. Maybe 30-40 people. At Aston however, the hall was pretty full. I performed, with a couple of hiccups, but I got through it.

#8 Holland's revenge against Spain in the world cup. Oh My God, I'm from Holland, so the 2010 world cup final loss scarred me. The last match of the 2010 world cup was the first of the 2014. Holland came in seeking revenge and  what a sweet revenge it was. In 2014, Van Persie became the flying Dutchman.

Those are all that I could think of right now, Alhamdulilah I've learned a lot this year and I hope you all have too. Remember, it isn't always about the destination that your heading towards, sometimes you learn more from the journey. Gathering the strength to jump over boundaries and barriers, overcoming obstacles and negativity on your way to the destination. Sometimes these experiences make you a stronger, better person, who is now better equipped to deal with those problems. Therefore, in the end, you're a much better person than the one that has walked in.

So what are you all waiting for? Be amazing, I know you can.

Best wishes,

Amina :)