Exams, Stress, 2nd year of university.

Guess who?

Hello hello hello readers I hope you're all very well. Life has been very stressful lately and I've kind of had a wake up call. Life isn't all peachy as I planned or wanted it to be. It's exam season and revision has taken over my life completely and right now I'm sick of it. I'm not going to set up potential student to shoot them in the foot, so my blogs wont be and have never been through rose tinted glasses.

This is second year, had I watched hunger games there probably would've been an appropriate reference right? But I digress. This is hard, it's so damn hard. It's hard to try and motivate when I'm so demotivated and exhausted. If I screw up now, my effort for my midterms would've been a waste. I want to, no I absolutely need to get a first. I've read the metro this week and most students are getting a 2:1. So if I want a job or a PhD after graduation I damn well better get a 1st. The second thing mentioned there was relevant work experience. According to my plans, I should've gotten into a hot shot pharmaceutical company by now. I've applied to 5 different GlaxoSmithKline industrial placements. Nestle required me to have a license- which I don't have. I phoned up Pfizer in August and the lady told me vacancies will be posted mid January. I took her word for it and mid January there were no applications open.

I've been stuck on this serine protease essay for far too long now, I just need to understand the concept of the proposed mechanism but I need someone to explain it to me, I'm an audio learner. Or so I think, if I hear something explained to me properly and it makes sense to me at that time, I will remember it for a very long time. But if I read a paragraph- especially to try and understand electron movement, it isn't happening.

I've successfully avoided learning about glycolysis and the citric acid cycle for a very long time, but now, I can't avoid it anymore. My molecular bioscience exam is all about bioenergetics, glycolysis, cancer biology, metabolism and topics relating to it. For this module there are 6 seen question, which to be fair is nice of them. However, they are not easy, not easy at all. Had these exact questions been unseen, there is no doubt I would fail.

It's not even about whether you're a hard worker, this stretches you to the next level. If you're not sleep deprived and exhausted, you're not doing 2nd year right. My exams are on the 27th and the 29th of January. So I have 8 days to finish proteins and God willing get a good 1st in it. With molecular bioscience, I'll be very happy with a good first but I absolutely need to get at least 65% in it.

It's weird to open up to strangers on the internet like this, however I want to stick to the principles that I had when I first started writing "This is my journey" and my journey consists of all of it. Everything, the tears, the hurt, the laughter and joy. The successes and failures, that make up my journey. All the things university students wont tell you when they're promoting their courses.

It's important to constantly remind yourself why you're doing this, you know why are you studying course X,Y or Z. Because that's what going to keep you going through times like this.

My name is Amina and this, is my journey!

Turning a new leaf.

This post is a week late

Turning a new leaf

I feel as though I'm being nostalgic lately, especially with my last post "My 2014 highlights  "
But it's time for me to turn a new leaf in my life. I'm turning 21 next week and I feel like I haven't done anything note worthy. I haven't learned how to drive, haven't secured a placement at GlaxoSmithKline and I'm still not as religious as I'd like to be. And as my mothers friends mention a lot, I'm not married. Though that doesn't bother me at the moment.

21, wow, I'm getting old. Before it was 16 is a milestone then it's 18 but now, the next milestone is 30. 30! I don't want to just live, get by and die. I want to leave an impact when its my time. Something note worthy, like finding a cheap cure for HIV or something. 

Ignore any typos please. This year I've become stress on legs honestly. Blogging  at 1 am when I have an early start. 

Exam season is when I turn into a hot mess, not even hot, just a mess. So I better get all my laundry done now. Before I drown in even more work. 

My 2014 highlights

Hello readers, it's officially 2015!

I've been requested to make a blog post about some of my highlights this year, so here goes. And they are in no particular order.

#1 I've taken my last ever pure chemistry exam and achieved a 2.1 which was a huge surprise and relief.

#2 I've visited and went sightseeing in Liverpool with a friend. I hardly ever go to a different city so this was a nice change. The city itself is breath taking.

#3My grandma and my aunt moved to Somalia permanently. This was very hard for me because I was very close to her my whole life, she used to live down the road from me so I used to go there, have a cup of tea and just chat almost every day. She would almost always tell me embarrassing stories about me whenever I would ask about my childhood. The same with my aunt, she made me an independent woman by giving me lots of responsibility from early on. My aunt used to be in the army, so she's an official bad ass you wouldn't want to mess with- so we didn't. But she's also the fairest and most loving person I've met too. In many ways my personality is like hers and in the ways it isn't, its like my mothers. So letting go of that was very hard. InshaAllah i'll see her this summer holiday. But it will never be the same.

#4 I am now the aunt of two beautiful boys (MashaAllah). My cousin gave birth a little while ago to the most adorable baby I've ever seen. The first time I visited him my cousin told me to change his clothes- which was so scary, it felt like he could break if I stretched his arm. But when I held him - ahhh- he was looking into my eyes and he grabbed my finger in his palm. I fell in love with him. In that moment we just- bonded. He held my heart in his tiny palms, and I knew then that I will never (inshaAllah) allow harm to come his way.


#5 Going back to my old secondary school to do work experience. My last experience at this school was a students one, but things were so different as "staff". I hung out in the "staff room" with some of my old teachers. Some students were calling me miss? I was given responsibility, to work all by my self in the technicians lab. This was all like woah! I got to design my own experiment, and the technicians gave me full credit, used my results and allowed me to explain to other members of staff. I remember calling the senior science technician 'Miss' and she said "you need to stop calling me miss, call me X"(where X would be her first name) and the same thing happened with my GCSE biology teacher, she told me her first name. But I've always felt too awkward to say it. It was the best experience that I have ever had and I wish I could go back and thank every member of staff I worked with. I liked working there so much I tried to apply there for my placement year, unfortunately I wasn't allowed because in order for me to get credits for the year it must be level 5 equivalent. Whatever that means.
From designing an experiment, explaining how practical's work, showing kids how to use microscopes properly, marking work and going to a self defence class. I have to say that going back to my old school was the best decision I could've made.
This is because the lovely staff there all knew that I didn't know what I wanted to do. And all of them gave me advise, especially the technicians I worked with and my GCSE biology teacher. Because of their guidance I know what options I have and which ones will hopefully suit me.


#6 in 2014 I got my grades sorted out, in the years before there was the odd hiccup but Alhamdulilah in 2014 I got the results that I needed. I'm my biggest critic, so I'll almost never say "I got the mark I wanted" But especially this academic year, so far, I haven't had any bad results.

#7 Performing spoken word poetry in front of an audience. The Aston University open mic was my biggest highlight. I used to be a very shy person in front of people I didn't know or wasn't close to. I remember once asking my English teacher to not pick me to answer because I didn't like talking in front of everyone. So for a while since then I've been working on my confidence. Now, there's always a part of me that wants to speak to audiences to motivate them. however, such a platform is hard to find so I thought i'd stick to what I know. Poetry. And that's exactly what I did. Once in a small open mic night in University during freshers week. Where the outcome wasn't huge. Maybe 30-40 people. At Aston however, the hall was pretty full. I performed, with a couple of hiccups, but I got through it.

#8 Holland's revenge against Spain in the world cup. Oh My God, I'm from Holland, so the 2010 world cup final loss scarred me. The last match of the 2010 world cup was the first of the 2014. Holland came in seeking revenge and  what a sweet revenge it was. In 2014, Van Persie became the flying Dutchman.

Those are all that I could think of right now, Alhamdulilah I've learned a lot this year and I hope you all have too. Remember, it isn't always about the destination that your heading towards, sometimes you learn more from the journey. Gathering the strength to jump over boundaries and barriers, overcoming obstacles and negativity on your way to the destination. Sometimes these experiences make you a stronger, better person, who is now better equipped to deal with those problems. Therefore, in the end, you're a much better person than the one that has walked in.

So what are you all waiting for? Be amazing, I know you can.

Best wishes,

Amina :)